and other things I meant to say.
The fluorescent lights hummed overhead as I navigated the busy aisles of the grocery store. My cart, empty, was my shield in the beginning of a voyage. I was a ship navigating my vessel through rocky shores. I was trying to make my way to the produce, searching for an empty lane to cross over in, as one does in busy grocery stores. I knew I needed something from the cosmetic aisle and usually those aisles are overpriced and thus, empty. As I rounded the corner, I spotted an older woman engrossed in the boxes of small tubs of creams at the end of aisle.
“Excuse me,” I ventured, hoping to slip past her quickly.
She turned, a look of embarrassment fleeting across her face as she hastily moved aside. “Oh, I’m so sorry!” she mumbled, and we both did an awkward shuffle to make space in a tiny aisle.
A moment later, she glanced back at me, her eyes holding a hint of melancholy as she forced a smirk. “No matter how long I stare at these,” she sighed, gesturing towards the shelves, “they won’t make me any more beautiful.“
A pang of sympathy shot through me. I hesitated, unsure of what to say. What I thought was “You are the most beautiful thing I’ll see all day in this ugly world. I hate the messages that you’ve been given that tell you beauty is something other than the blessing of time.“
Holding back tears at these thoughts, what I managed to say was “Maybe not, but you might feel better and more moisturized!” Then it was my turn to force the smirk.
“Well, now, that’s true.” She said as she went back to gazing at the creams.
I continued down the aisle, not shaking the feeling of cruelty and unfairness. Also, some shame because I didn’t know what to say. I wore this for the rest of the day.
Even in my fumbling now, this is a poor attempt at telling you outright that you’re so gorgeous. Time looks so good on you, as if the sunshine of days given prior settle in the corners of your eyes, mouth, cheeks. No amount of cream should ever cover such a gift.
